at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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