it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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