i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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