Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
