I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
