bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
