sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
