wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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