the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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