so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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