well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
