WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Enjoy the penises
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
