I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize