On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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