Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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