There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
