but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
