Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
