So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
