dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
