So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
