I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
