And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
