Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
