Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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