this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
