I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
