Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize