when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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