her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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