Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize