dude i'm inner monologue high
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
