nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
