Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
