If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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