Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
