And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
