So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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