Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
