help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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