He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize