oh god the rape fog is back!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
