My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize