Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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