corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
