Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
