you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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