Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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