Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will be naked everywhere
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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