So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
