I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize