hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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