instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you inspire me to be a worse person
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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