It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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