Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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