I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
