Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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