Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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