tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
