even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
