ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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