For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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