i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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