Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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