I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
These tits shall not be calmed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
