If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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