sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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