The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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