you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
