Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Everyone says I win the strip club
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
